So who’s your role model?

Another question that has terrorized my childhood. Right up there with “What do you want to be when you grow up”. You see, I didn’t have a role model, I still don’t and at some point I worried there was something wrong with me for not having one. I don’t know about you, my dear reader, but I can distinctly remember one of my teacher telling the class that we should have a role model.

Thinking back it’s stupid, of course. The whole idea of having a role model is stupid. What the heck is a role model anyway? According to the source of all digital knowledge – Wikipedia, role model is a "person who serves as an example, whose behavior is emulated by others".

Emulated? Like in trying to be somebody else? Like in being somebody you are not? Like in not feeling ok in your own skin? Well that just sounds wrong. That also is against everything I’ve learned so far in life, that it’s good to be yourself, to follow your dreams, to stand for what you believe.

Main words here: yourself, your, and you.

What my teacher (I believe that was in 8th grade) horribly missed is that there is nothing wrong in aspiring to be great, as some people are, and to be inspired by great people but it’s completely wrong to try to be like that person.

If you like Einstein, don’t try to prove that E=mc^2 is wrong and that it should be E=mc^3, try to do what he has done, and do it your way, revolutionize the way people see the universe. And you don’t have to grow the crazy hair either.

And if Superman is your role model, good luck with stopping bullets with your bare chest, If you want to be like Superman, just look at what the whole idea of Superman is- doing good, stopping bad guys.  Who’s stopping you to do good, your way? Nobody! And you don’t even have to have x-ray vision to do that.

The whole role model philosophy is flawed in many ways and it’s one of the teachings of school and society that manages to put a big nail in the coffin of feeling good about who you are and, ultimately, of being happy. If I learned something over the years is that there is one way of doing things right and that way is your way.

I will end with an note of caution – if you feel like hitting somebody on the head with a lead pipe, please don’t do it, even if that is your way of showing sympathy. Working in the boundaries oh right and wrong is a must. Knowing when and where to push and shift those boundaries is an art that makes the artist who wields it one those people that are labeled as role models.

P.S. The previous two post had some clips that were supporting, in one way or the other, my arguments. This post, however, has none, because the ideas in this one are based on believes formed over the years. However, if what I said makes some sense to you, I do recommend reading two books by a person who I greatly admire and who has been an inspiration more than ones, Seth Godin. The first one is called Tribes, and it’s about learning how to become a leader and how communities grow, and the second one is Linchpin and it’s about being yourself in what you do, or so I see it.